Cinderella: Oh, if only I could go to the ball!
Blue Fairy: Sure thing!
Geppeto: If only I had a son!
Blue Fairy: But of course!
Regina: If only my mother would stop physically and mentally abusing me, as she has my entire life.
Blue Fairy: …
Regina: Right, so I’m going to solve my own problem and run off with my boyfriend, so if only my mother is distracted for one lousy hour…
Blue Fairy: …
Blue Fairy: Hey, guys, Snow White needs us to storm the castle! Let’s ALL get together! Thousands of us! To help Snow White!
Regina: Oh, fuck you guys. When this curse goes down, I’m making you all nuns. If I’m not getting laid, nobody’s getting laid.






